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Drew Magary Drew Magary Jul 03, 2019. 23 comments

Please, I Ask You All, Murder Me With Butter

Please, I Ask You All, Murder Me With Butter

Just in time for July 4th, Michelin-starred chef and angry British person Gordon Ramsay made the below YouTube video to show you how to grill a hamburger. Why you would trust this man to make you a proper burger over Ron Swanson, I do not know. Why Ramsay needs a full 10 minutes to show you how he does this, I again do not know. It could be because he spends the first portion of this clip...

23 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Jun 05, 2019. 24 comments

Let’s Do It. Let’s All Eat Salad With A Fuckin’ Spoon

Let’s Do It. Let’s All Eat Salad With A Fuckin’ Spoon
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about parsing online reviews, new candy bars, battered fries, oddly named Pennsylvania burgs, and more.

Your letters!

Evan:

How does one eat a crouton? The only way I can get it on a fork is if it’s been sitting in the salad for like...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary May 10, 2019. 23 comments

An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants

An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants

Alex is a 43-year-old San Franciscan who works in the financial sector. He also eagerly eats uneaten and untouched leftover food off of plates if he spots it out in the open at a public dining establishment, even if it’s off a stranger’s plate. He forages in an urban setting, you might say. I called Alex on the phone (on his birthday!) and asked him why he indulges in a practice that I will...

23 Comments

Jorge Corona Jorge Corona Apr 18, 2019. 11 comments

Deadspin Idiot Noisily Eats Cool-Ass Fruits

Deadspin Idiot Noisily Eats Cool-Ass Fruits

Here at Deadspin, we are committed to bringing you top quality video content. It’s why when we set out to bring you a video of Giri Nathan eating disparate fruits, we didn’t stop our thinking at “how?” We went further. We broke the thought barrier and asked ourselves, “How loud?”

The answer, you will see above, is “as loud as our loyal readers deserve.” Giri might not whisper like a lot of ASMR...

11 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Apr 17, 2019. 24 comments

What Is The Best Plate Shape?

What Is The Best Plate Shape?
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about Game of Thrones, pizza pilgrimages, movie knowers, bad candy bars, and more.

I was playing FIFA 19 with my son the other day and he was beating my ass all over the field. We’re closing in on the 90th minute and, out of...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Apr 03, 2019. 24 comments

Onions, Ranked

Onions, Ranked
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about pizza, worst places to die, the NCAA tournament, and more.

Your letters!

Tom:

Rank the onions.

White

Red

Yellow

Spanish

Vidalia

Green

Cipollini

Other?

I must also insist shallots count, too. Leeks can go fuck themselves, though.

What did...

24 Comments

Lauren Theisen Lauren Theisen Mar 29, 2019. 8 comments

Does Luke Voit Know How To Eat? An Investigation

Does Luke Voit Know How To Eat? An Investigation
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Yankees first baseman Luke Voit is big and beefy and slugs dingers—including one in the first inning on Opening Day—so one could probably assume that he consumes calories, at least on occasion, in order to give his body energy.

However, watch this brief clip of Voit sticking sunflower seeds around his mouth, and try...

8 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Mar 06, 2019. 23 comments

What Is The Optimum Office Food?

What Is The Optimum
Office Food?
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more.

I had to go to an ENT specialist the other day, because visiting the ENT is what you do if you’re either five years old or 500 years old. Anyway, I was feeling...

23 Comments

Albert Burneko Albert Burneko Feb 21, 2019. 19 comments

Make Some Fiery Red Chili Sauce And Put It On Stuff

Make Some Fiery Red Chili Sauce And Put It On Stuff

Maybe you do the thing where, on a Sunday morning, you dump a week’s worth of leftover chicken bones into a big pot of cold water with some onions and root vegetables and herbs and whatnot and make stock . Or maybe you do the thing where you dump a couple huge cans of tomatoes in that big pot with some aromatics, wine, tomato paste, anchovies, herbs, and/or so forth and make tomato sauce or...

19 Comments

David Roth David Roth Jan 03, 2019. 24 comments

Pancakes Are Bullshit

Pancakes Are Bullshit

It is a matter of public record where Drew Magary, the beloved honking prince of this website, lands on the question of pancakes. The big dog is pro-flapjack without apology, and our boy likes them large . But while Drew is recovering well from his post-Deadspin Awards injury, he was not in the studio for the recording of this week’s all-food, all-Funbag Deadcast. This meant that the job of...

24 Comments

Giri Nathan Giri Nathan Dec 14, 2018. 14 comments

Get To Know The Vermin In And Around Your Stadium Food

Get To Know The Vermin In And Around Your Stadium Food

A rumbling gut is probably enough to inform you that stadium concessions stands can really mess you up, but now you can check your gastrointestinal intuition against an ESPN survey of health violations at pro football, basketball, baseball, and hockey venues.

Outside the Lines reviewed over 16,000 routine inspection reports at venues in 2016 and 2017 and took note of all high-level violations...

14 Comments

Albert Burneko Albert Burneko Dec 12, 2018. 17 comments

Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?

Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?

All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of us in The Digital Media Space. Did you know they have milk made from oats, now? Man.

I guess...

17 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Nov 14, 2018. 24 comments

Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!

Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more.

Your letters!

Pat:

You have to give up one for the rest of your life: candy or alcohol? The answer has to be candy right?

LOL what makes you think I haven’t already...

24 Comments

Tom Ley Tom Ley Nov 13, 2018. 16 comments

Stop Squeezing The Food At Me

Stop Squeezing The Food At Me
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An unavoidable consequence of spending any meaningful amount of time online is being exposed to viral food content. Some of that stuff looks good and appetizing and much of it is trollish and stupid and decadent in ways that suggest a culture in serious trouble. But there is one particular aspect to this genre that I...

16 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Nov 10, 2018. 24 comments

Cook For Yourself 

Cook For Yourself 

My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Without a responsible spouse around to patrol my eating habits, I could have joined the boys in...

24 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Oct 03, 2018. 24 comments

You And I Are Eating Too Much Chicken

You And I Are Eating Too Much Chicken
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIFFunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Today, we’re talking about Gritty, weddings, pissing in the woods, and more.

Your letters:

Sam:

Sitting here eating KFC with my wife and watching Star Wars after work and she asks...

24 Comments

Lauren Theisen Lauren Theisen Sep 25, 2018. 15 comments

Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza

Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza

A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand.

Quinelle May, who posted the video of the spitter on Saturday, told WXYZ in Detroit that “the worker was ‘mad and having a...

15 Comments

Katie McDonough Katie McDonough Sep 10, 2018. 17 comments

I Ate Like A Football Player And Suffered Like A Blogger

I Ate Like A Football Player And Suffered Like A Blogger

This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think.

At 5'11" and 183 pounds, Los Angeles Rams cornerback Troy Hill is a small man compared to his teammates and other players in the NFL. At 5'2" and around 100 pounds, this is also true of me compared to most of...

17 Comments

Drew Magary Drew Magary Sep 05, 2018. 24 comments

Shake Shack Is Our Most Overrated Fast Food Restaurant

Shake Shack Is Our Most Overrated Fast Food Restaurant
FunbagTime for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? [Email the Funbag](mailto:funbag.deadspin@gmail.com).   

Before I get into the Funbag, I have a special announcement: The DEADCAST is coming to Chicago on Sept. 17, a week from Monday. That’s right. We’re gonna have a bigass Monday Night party and you, dear Chicagoans, are invited. You can find all the...

24 Comments

Samer Kalaf Samer Kalaf Sep 04, 2018. 22 comments

U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"

U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"
Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF

The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality , but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got an...

22 Comments

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